My intention with this blog was to post one short essay per day. Sometimes I create a longer piece - a short story of fiction, for example - and that might represent a couple of days' work. But on average, I've generally posted over the almost year-lifespan of this version of the Act II Ministries blog at a rate of close to one per day. (Easy to check - Blogger allows you to see how many posts were put up in each month, and the number's almost always in the mid-20s or so.)
And then I hit a stretch like this week.
There are several unfinished posts sitting on file here, but since Sunday, when I tagged my weekly Australian football piece that I write for The Roar on here (and I always consider that cheating, a little - this blog DOES cover football, sure, but I didn't write those pieces specifically for this audience...), I've only posted ONE column, and that one on Monday.
It's late Thursday night. Nothing.
And I have no good excuse. I'm on summer holiday, my 4-6 week break from any kind of school teaching (summer school ended July 7th; students return August 21st, although I'll be back into the office a couple of weeks before that). I've been (for me!) moderately healthy, with only the normal number of painful episodes to distract. My children are due back tomorrow evening from their holiday with their mother, so the house has been quiet, and I haven't even had any unusual long times spent with my ladyfriend Dana. (By "unusual", I mean we didn't go anywhere since Sunday - we did go to Boise to see my sisters-in-law on Friday and Saturday last week, and that accounts for that break.)
I have no excuses. I simply have shirked my obligation to this ministry, and therefore to the Lord.
When you become a Christian, you don't suddenly become perfect. If you're already a Christian yourself, you already know this. If you're not, though, that's a common misconception of sorts: Christians can often be perceived as holier-than-thou zealots who come across like Stepford Wives trying to drag you into their web, and that's not it at all.
Any real Christian is going through the same guano that you are, sometimes (usually!) more so. And the reason for the more so will not encourage you to become a Christian, I'm afraid.
People whom the devil or his fellow fallen angels like to tempt are the ones who can do him harm. If you're already doing his bidding, then he's not bothering with you - most likely, the problems you're dealing with are of your own making because you're living his kind of life. But if he considers you a threat, he pays specific attention to you, and does what he can to pull you off the front lines.
Sometimes it's major; sometimes, it doesn't have to be. All that's needed for a peon like me is to get me away from my keyboard where I can't spread the Word of the Gospel. Sometimes that's pain, and unfortunately that's a particularly effective method against me (it's one I'm fighting even as I type this). But other times, one of his favorite weapons against a lazy person like me is simple lethargy - no, don't do that now; wait until later...and later...and later...and well, you're too tired to do it now, right? It's been like that for three days now - something else has "needed doing" instead of the most important job I could have: saving other souls from damnation to hell.
My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. I was lost...and sometimes, I'm still lost, and I have to be found again. But to do that, I have to wave my arms for Christ to come back around and find me after I shoved Him away a bit for a couple of days.
Hopefully, I can stay in His Loving Hand for awhile now. But undoubtedly, I'll fail and fall away a bit again, and probably sooner rather than later, because I'm still all too human. Thank you for being patient with me. I know God is, and I know the Trinity is, because that's Who They Are. We make these mistakes, and it doesn't cost us our salvation - but it does mean we're not doing what we're still on earth to do. The Great Commission. If it wasn't for that, He would have brought each of us Home the moment we Believed a saving Belief.
Keep up the good fight, my friends, and I'll try to do the same. God bless you. -g
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