What is illness to the body of a knight errant?

One of the great scenes in Broadway history (IMHO) is the climactic scene in Man Of La Mancha, where Don Quixote was on his death bed, Aldonza and Sancho by his side, and as his memory of his (illusory) knighthood returned, he began to stand...

Don Quixote: "On thy knees to me?"
Aldonza: "My lord, you're not well..."
Don Quixote: "Not well! What is illness to the body of a knight errant? What matter wounds? For each time he falls, he shall rise again! And woe to the wicked! Sancho!
Sancho: "Here, your grace!"
Don Quixote: "My armor! My sword!"....

...and in thirty seconds, he's dead...but dead as a knight errant, not as a demented old man. And that makes all the difference.

I've been fighting a chest cold bordering on pneumonia over the last several days; perhaps that's why I was weak enough to be such a target for the demons pushing me to jump off the bridge last week, I don't know. Knowing I was with my children this past weekend and this week, without my fiancee's help (she was in LA with her grandson), I took it slow and easy all weekend in the hope of saving up energy wherever I could. I had to drive children hither and thither, soccer-mom style, but otherwise I kept things quiet.

Probably too quiet - I didn't write on this blog, nor did I spend any other time writing new material, although I studied quite a bit of Scripture. And I used my illness as the excuse to flag on my duties to the Lord.

Then, as I sat down to write on a different topic altogether just now, the headline you see above emerged unbidden from my fingertips.

("This is God speaking. Can I help you?")

Man Of La Mancha was my second-favorite musical when I was growing up. (West Side Story was and still is first; Camelot was third.) I had a poster of "The Impossible Dream" on my bedroom door as inspiration to keep fighting for what I wanted to achieve. But it's as sterling an example of striving for what God wants us to accomplish for Him as well.

"And I know if I'll only be true to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm laid to my rest."

It's not achieving the goal that matters in the end; it's the quest itself that makes it worthy in God's Eyes. Richard Ellis hit this on the head in that life-saving sermon I described last Friday. He concluded with a few sentences that could have simply been aimed at me: You say, But Richard, you don't know what I'm dealing with. It can't be beaten. I'm going to die from it, and God won't save me from it. I say, it's not that you're going to die that is the problem; it's how you face death, how you face that challenge that matters. Will you stand up to your demon, or will you let it defeat you?

If I'm "true to my glorious quest", what matter wounds? What matters pain? What does it matter that I'm not going to "win" in the end? It's the battle that matters to God. It's the character that is built in the battle that matters to the Lord. 

Don Quixote de la Mancha was a delusional old man. He thought that he was a knight errant of the Spanish Realm, a relic of an era that had long passed. The region, of course, knew him as a delusional old man, and his niece and her husband were literally embarrassed by his behavior (so much so that they take action to shock him back to reality in the second act). But some people around him found hope from Don Quixote's nobility. There were two in particular - Sancho, his "faithful servant" (who simply liked him and enjoyed the "misadventures"), and Aldonza, the barmaid-slash-prostitute whom Quixote has mistaken for "my lady Dulcinea" (who comes to adore the reality he sees for her, preferring it to the seedy reality she's lived). To the two of them, Don Quixote has brought joy and his vision to their lives. Did he "win"? Hard to argue that he did. But the battle was what mattered, and his heart undoubtedly lies peaceful and calm.

I'm going to die from this disease eventually, unless Christ returns before that (as I think, hope, and pray He will). But to cut off the fight prematurely is to miss the point of the fight. I must keep fighting the TAM, fighting the disease, fighting for God's Message to be spread while there's still time.

I'll have eternity to rest and recover. But I only have these few months to serve my purpose for the Lord here on earth before He Returns. And He mandates that I use them for Him, not selfishly ditch the fight to avoid the pain. My pain is temporary, but your Hell would be permanent if I don't share the Gospel with the people who need it.

A Walk In The Woods

This is my favorite song to perform that I've ever written. 

Melissa and I used to sing it together whenever she was strong enough to perform with me - she had a beautiful contralto voice, and majored in voice and flute while at Fresno State University. I actually wrote this before I became a Christian, and although it wasn't specifically written about the two of us, it pretty accurately depicts the tension between us over Christianity. She was in touch with the Lord, and I was still....searching for the meaning in life that she'd already taken for granted WOULD soon take residence in my life as well. 

A Walk In The Woods

She -       Sometimes, when I walk in the woods,                                   

                And the sky is starting to blur,

                I think of my long lost childhood friend,                                

                And I feel closer to her.                          

                                        

He -        Sometimes, when we walk in the woods,

                And the raindrops are starting to touch,

                She thinks of her dear departed grandmamma,

                And doesn’t miss her quite as much.

S -           Sometimes, when I walk in the woods,                                   

                And the skies are starting to part,

                I feel close to my God in heaven,                                                

                And He moves me, and touches my heart.  

                                           

H -          Sometimes, when I walk in the woods,

                And the rains continue to fall,

                I try so hard to feel something,

                And I feel…  nothing at all.

                What is out there that’s truly real?

                How can I get in touch with this Holy Mind?

                What am I supposed to feel,

                When I can’t even find the next line?

S -           Let go!                                   H -          Let go? Let go of what?                 

S -           Relax!                                    H -          Relax? How can I do that?

(H -)       When every part of me is desperate

                To find some sign of the infinite?

S -           Everything you’re doing is stopping you from knowing.                 

                Every seed you’re sowing is keeping you from growing:

Both -     You can’t look for the invisible,

                You can’t touch the intangible.

                You can’t explain the inexplicable

                With your logic and reason.

                You can’t find any equation

                That solves the One Great Question.

                You’re searching for The Answer,

                When what you’ll get is a Suggestion…

H -          You act as if there’s something I’ve missed

                In my ignominious search.

                You seem to think there is something wrong

                With my calculated re-search.

S -           Step back!                            H -          Step back? From what, you say?

S -           Give in!                                 H -          From this pursuit? No way!

                I need to learn what’s out there in

                Those great mysterious woods today!

S -           Everything you’re doing is stopping you from knowing.

                Every seed you’re sowing is keeping you from growing:

Both -     You can’t look for the invisible,

                You can’t touch the intangible.

                You can’t explain the inexplicable

                With your logic and reason.

                You can’t find any equation

                That solves the One Great Question.

                You’re searching for The Answer,

                When what you’ll get is a Suggestion…

H -          I give up… I’ve failed.

                I’ve tried, to no avail.

                I don’t have the strength to fight about this anymore…

S -          (spoken) Good. Now you can just…listen.                             

                 

H -          (spoken quietly, in a moment of revelation) Oh!

                (sung) Sometimes when I walk in the woods,

                And I stop trying so hard to see,

                I search within to feel something,

                And I find… something bigger than me.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Here's an article I wrote for the ROAR this week on the eighteen teams' fight songs - it wasn't practical, I guess to put a link with the songs themselves in the article, so here's a link for my stateside readers for that as well. (They're alphabetical by team.)

Enjoy!

Ask And Ye Shall Receive...

1Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” 2And he said to them, “When you pray, say:

“Father, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come.

3Give us each day our daily bread

4and forgive us our sins,

for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us

And lead us not into temptation.”

5And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, 6for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; 7and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything’? 8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs. 9And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 11What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; 12or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

To continue the thoughts from yesterday's "Dear Abby" parody about whether God answers prayers no matter what, consider this passage from Luke chapter 11 (verses 1-13, if that's not clear). First of all, as I've said before, the naming of verses 2-4 as the "Lord's Prayer" is such an odd choice of titles, since John 17 is so clearly the Lord's actual prayer to the Father. This is the prayer that He gives for US to pray to the Father with; it should be "Our Prayer" or some such title.

Be that as it may...

Jesus makes clear that even we sinful humans will get up and help a friend who asks a favor of us - "A friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him" - even though in the sleeping arrangements of first century Jerusalem and beyond, the whole family slept in the main room; thus getting up to make three loaves of bread implied waking the entire family to make it with the light on in the cooking area of the same main room. "Yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs", won't he?

"And I tell you," Jesus continues, if you ask in your prayers to God, you will get what you ask for. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened." (Luke 11:9, worth memorizing), because it is Your Father of whom you are asking these boons. Christ points out how the fathers among us "evil" humans would give our own children "good gifts" and not serpents or scorpions; "how much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

(Note that it is NOT a question, but a statement. How much more will He give you!)

So, is God just a Santa Claus, a genie who grants our every wish? 

Of course not. Unless...

Here's the catch. Jesus distinctly compared God to being a father, and even said in verse 13, "how much more will your Heavenly Father give..." 

In order for Him to be our Father, we must be His Children...and in order for you to be His Child... you must accept His invitation into your family. He has many places where He gives you key phrases to accept Christ into your heart, but in essence, what you must do is admit that Jesus is God and accept Him as the Lord of your life. Admitting Jesus is God is crucial because without that, without admitting that Jesus rose from the dead, there is no reason to give Him Lordship over your life. And by giving Him Lordship, you are saying that as God, He knows better than we do what's best for us.

I was thinking about this today: Before I was saved, before I was born again and actually gave Him ownership over my life, one of my primary motivator songs was Incubus' "Drive", which implores the listener to "take the wheel and steer" your own life, rather than letting others control where your life goes. Now, there's a great song by the band Manafest that I love, called "Let You Drive" and ironically it delivers the exact opposite message:

Take my hands off the wheel
And let You drive
Let You drive
Let You drive
Here’s the key to my heart
So come inside
Take my life
You can take my life

And I believe in both: If your alternatives are you drive or you let society drive your life, then by all means, you should drive. But if you're a child of God, there's a better alternative. Take your hands off the wheel, and let Him drive your life. You'll go places you could never go without Him!!

Once you've accepted Him as the Lord of your life, then you might start asking and he will give....BUT now your wishes are likely to coincide with His! If you've truly given your life to the Lord, your prayers are probably something along the lines of "Thy Will Be Done, Lord"! And if you're asking those types of requests of the Lord, it's very likely that you'll receive positive answers! 

Does that mean God's just being self-serving? No - wishing for your own physical or fiscal salvation is in God's best interests, most often! I can give you a personal example: the medical bills from my late wife's fight and my own illness issues should have bankrupted me, but every time it looked like it would happen, some money arrived out of nowhere to keep us above water. Every time, without fail. 

So, if you want God to answer your prayers?

Why don't you try answering His prayers first?

Inauguration Day

Today, January 20th, 2017, is the quadrennial celebration of democracy in the United States of America - the peaceful transfer of power between one administration and another. For that, we thank George Washington. Lin-Manuel Miranda gives us a fascinating representation of that moment in his landmark musical Hamilton, where President Washington tells his most trusted cabinet minister Alexander Hamilton that he's not running for a third term - and his reasoning permeates our society even today.

"If I say goodbye, the nation learns to move on. It outlives me when I'm gone. Like the Scripture says, 'Everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree and no one shall make them afraid.' They'll be safe in the nation we've made."

It turns out he's quoting there from Micah 4:4, which talks of the Mountain of the Lord in the Millennial, which is followed by (to me) an even more appropriate verse, Micah 4:5 ...

"For all the peoples walk each in the name of its god, 
but we will walk in the Name of the Lord our God forever and ever."

The people today have quite different "gods" that they follow. Some do follow the true Lord, of course, but many follow money, or power, or blind patriotic loyalty. 

Some people are their own gods.

Today, we change from the administration of a demonstrably Christian president who spent eight years defending himself against charges of being a Muslim because his name rang of Islamic overtones, to a president who speaks the words and politics of Christianity but lives a life as far from that of Christ's teachings as is humanly possible. We change from a Democrat to a Republican. We change from a president which a large segment of America detested and another segment adored, to a president whose demographics were exactly the opposite - it would be hard to find a person of political awareness in the US who cared for Mr. Obama and Mr. Trump exactly equally (unless they simply hated ALL politicians, which is true more and more often.)

And yet, the words from Mr. Miranda's musical that stick with me today are the ones in the following song, sung by King George III - "They say George Washington's yielding his power and stepping away. Is that true? I wasn't aware that was something a person could do. I'm perplexed. Are they gonna keep on replacing whoever's in charge?"

Yes, yes we are. We've done it successfully previously, 43 times in a row. We've done it through a change of political beliefs. We've done it through natural death, and through assassination. We've done it through resignation and scandal. 

And today will be no exception. Regardless of the opinions of many of its citizens, perhaps even some of those performing the ceremony, the process will continue, and at noon EST we will transfer the power of the office of the "leader of the free world" from one man to another, as mandated in the US Constitution.



Now, here's the important part of this process.

No matter what you think of Mr. Trump, or Mr. Obama, or anyone else involved in the politics of the situation... God is the One Who is in control. 

God chose Mr. Obama to be POTUS for the last two terms. And He chose Mr. Trump to be POTUS now. So that's the way He wants it.

Let me throw my thoughts at you about the situation. I am not of the belief that Mr. Trump is a Christian, because of his demonstrably non-Christian actions - demeaning women and the underprivileged, completely unforgiving, compulsively untruthful, and unable to control his impulses. I also don't believe him competent enough to discharge his duties in the office, and I worry that his poor performance there will have grave results for all of us. 

But that's not to say that his opponent should have been elected. God arranged that too. If you have any doubt that He wanted Mr. Trump to be President, look at what he got to campaign against: an array of ineffective Republican candidates who split the rest of the vote, and then a Democratic candidate who not only embodied what the nation was despising about government but who demonstrably cheated to defeat her primary opponent. Add the fact that the two main "third party candidates" famously knew nothing about even the basic workings of government, and it's hard not to come to the conclusion that God wanted Mr. Trump to become president. Would he have won against, say, Mr. Obama or Mr. Bush 43 were they running again? Or any of a dozen competent possibilities who ARE still eligible? Probably not. God put him here against these candidates at this time because He wants Mr. Trump in office.

Why?

I don't know, but I trust Him. His ways are better than my ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and if it's His Will that Mr. Trump is our president, then I will honor and respect that Will. (And it must be His Will, unless I'm ready to abandon the truth of Scripture, which I'm not.)        

SO... just for fun, let's examine why God would want him there. For obvious reasons, let's exclude the reasons his supporters would give: he'll do a good job, he will correct policies that have gone away from the way they should go, etcetera. Without agreeing or disagreeing, let's dismiss those by saying if they're true, then it's obvious that God would want Mr. Trump in office, and case closed.

What remains are the anti-Trump arguments, and why God would want him there IF he was indeed as unqualified as I believe him to be. (Again, in the interest of fairness, those who believe that Mr. Trump is the solution and Mr. Obama was the problem, play along by changing the names. The point will be just as valid.) 

Arguments for such a president? Perhaps God would want to weaken the US in the world arena? My reading of Scripture as an eschatologist sees NO basis for America's participation in the End Times activities. We have had our fingers in the Middle Eastern pie for decades - if we're approaching the End, perhaps it's needed to pull us out of the area to allow the final act to begin. 

No? Perhaps the friendship which Mr. Trump wants to pursue with Russia will have an effect on those End Times prophecies. Most analysts believe Russia is the Gog/Magog in Ezekiel's portion of the final act - could an enhancement of Russian importance bring along their portion of Scripture?

Or perhaps there's something else in store - a Pence presidency, either in 2020, 2024, or following an impeachment. Mr. Pence is well-known as a foe of the LGBT community; maybe that be a factor in His thinking?

Let's go way out into left field: what if Mr. Trump's policies and behavior become so outrageous that the Democrats and Republicans have to work together, to team up to throw him out of office, and that begins a new era of the two sides working together as they should, in bipartisan fashion, as they used to until the start of the century (for the most part)? Possible. ALL things are possible with God.




Here's my point: we have no idea what God is thinking. Nor will we, most likely. 

We will simply have to trust Him, whether He allows us a Barack Obama or a Donald Trump to be our president. Whomever God installs, we must recognize and honor, and pray for. This is not a zero-sum game! If Mr. Trump is a successful president, we will be better off than if he is a dismal failure. We are bound by Romans 13:

"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore, whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.... Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience." (verses 1, 2, 5)

The cynical response to this comment of a friend of mine was to point out verse 6 and 7 had already been violated: "For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.   

The friend argues that if this president, who has proudly admitted not paying taxes, and certainly not demonstrated respect or honor to those who it was owed, has already violated God's Word, why should we obey the rest of Romans 13 with respect to him?

Here's my answer. God didn't give US mercy because WE deserved it. He gives us mercy because HE is holy.

Similarly, we don't pay this man respect because HE deserves it - we pay him respect because the OFFICE deserves it, and OUR GOD DEMANDS it.  

If we are Christians, then we respect the office of the President (and the rest of the government) because it's the right thing to do, regardless of who HOLDS those offices.

By the way, in my mind that disqualifies a huge number of people who believe they're Christians but who publicly denigrated President 44, or who will publicly denigrate President 45. 

The very phrase "He's not MY President" cannot be uttered by a Christian American.   

So, where does that leave us? Right where we started. Today, January 20th, we will inaugurate our 45th president, and he will sit where Mr. Lincoln say, where both Roosevelts sat, where almost every good, bad, great and mediocre POTUS has sat, and assume the duties of the highest office in the land. And it is my fondest wish, as much as I wish for anything in the political sphere, that Mr. Trump succeeds beyond my fears AND hopes for him, because a failure in the highest office creates a failure that seeps throughout the nation. (I remember 1974.) It is my duty as a Christian and as an American to do what I can to make his presidency a success.

Now, that includes vetting his cabinet choices so the best people fill those positions - it includes arguing about policy decisions because that affects the success of the country and therefore his presidency - it includes being vocal about potential mistakes we see him make, in order to give him the chance to correct those errors. THAT'S not disobedience - that's participation in the government process. So don't assume you can't speak up. Not the same thing. But work within the system as best you can as a Christian, professing your Christian values and arguing for your Christian beliefs. 

That's our job as Christians, regardless of who holds the office.

Because we serve our King, first and foremost. 

Always.  
 

God Is Love (lyrics only)

This was actually the very first song that the Lord "force-fed" me... I was driving through Nevada (not the same trip mentioned in my testimony, by the way - the one the next week, when I had to return the rental vehicle to Reno and pick up our then-repaired SUV). While I was driving, the song just appeared in my head. I had my son jot down some notes while I dictated to him between Battle Mountain and Elko...at that very early point in my true Christianity, it was kind of a freaky moment! It's one of the more popular tunes I wrote for the stage show we did later that summer...

                I was born on a train at the age of forty-eight.

                God walked up to my fortress, and He opened up the gate.

                I never knew I was a prisoner for all those years.

                He helped me shed a lot of anger, and I cried a lot of tears.

                I didn’t realize what God was before He came to me,

                But once the Spirit filled my soul, then I came to see:

                GOD IS LOVE, God is Good,

                God wants us to understand we should

                Entrust in Jesus – abide in Jesus.

                GOD IS LOVE, God is great,

                God wants us to celebrate

                Our lives in Jesus – our love for Jesus.

                GOD – IS – LOVE…. GOD – IS – LOVE…)

                We make God out to be whatever we want Him to be;

                We transcribe His Scriptures to prove our fav’rite policy:

                “God wants this!”, “God hates that!”, “We know how Our Lord thinks!”

                Next He’ll be selling after-shave, and the soda that He drinks!

                The truth, though, if you read His Word, then it isn’t hard to see;

                It’s there in ev’ry single verse; it’s spelled L-O-V-E…

                                (God Is Love…. God Is Love…)

                GOD IS LOVE, God is great,

                God wants us to celebrate

                Our lives in Jesus – our love for Jesus.

   GOD IS LOVE, God is fair,

                God wants us to show we care

                For one another – to love each other.

                GOD – IS – LOVE…. GOD – IS – LOVE…)

                (instrumental solo)

                GOD IS LOVE, God is Good,

                God wants us to understand we should

                Entrust in Jesus – abide in Jesus.

                GOD IS LOVE, God is great,

                God wants us to celebrate

                Our lives in Jesus – our love for Jesus.

                GOD IS LOVE, God is fair,

                God wants us to show we care

                For one another – to love each other.

                GOD – IS – LOVE…. GOD – IS – LOVE…)

My testimony. In song, of course.

 One of the truisms I really like about sharing the Gospel with people is this: you might not be an expert on the Bible, but EVERYONE is an expert on how THEY came to be saved. Share THAT with people, and then get out of the way and let Christ do the rest if you need to.

So, here's MY testimony. Being a composer, naturally I wrote it out in music - my pastor decided to record it and show it at my baptism, in fact. A little embarrassing, but my two younger sons had fun singing along with the ends of the chorus every time it came around, even in church, so that helped. 

God Works In Mysterious Ways (a testimony in musical form)

                Hey there, everyone – My name is Gordon Paul Smith, and although God’s just recently called me to share His music and His Word with you, the truth is that He’s been preparing me for this my whole life. I started composing when I was twelve; I was arranging for bands of all sizes while I was still in high school, and I’ve been a composer and music teacher for thirty years now. So, He knew what He was doing…even if I had no clue. You see, I’d led most of my life as what I would now call a – “semi-Christian” – I paid lip service to the general concept of Christianity, went to church once in awhile, and I tried to live my life according to Jesus’ teachings, but… well, see, my other academic strengths were in the areas of math and science, and in fact I left college with a degree and credential in both music and math. Sooo… I was what in Missouri they’d call a “SHOW ME – prove it to me” kinda guy. Faith wasn’t going to be enough for me – I needed some kind of actual proof, something TANGIBLE that would MAKE me believe.

                Well, guess what? He proved it to me – during my 48^th summer on the planet, and it may seem like an awfully complicated way for the Lord to have gone about getting me to this place, singing for you today…but for Him, it was a piece of cake. Because…

                God Works In Mysterious Ways,

                You’ll never understand what happened ‘til the end of your days.

                The best laid plans of mice and men

Will have you thinking that you’ll have to start all over again.

Whatever God does, it turns out right in the end,

But He works in mysterious ways…

                (God Works in mysterious ways… - c’mon folks! – God Works in mysterious ways… God Works in mysterious ways.. )

                That’s my beautiful wife Melissa over there. Everybody say, “Hi, Melissa!” (response!) Melissa and I were high school sweethearts – but of course, it’s not that simple. You see, even back then, we knew we were a match made in Heaven, literally. We were inseparable, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, so much so that none of our friends would believe us when we assured them we’d never slept together. But then… well, first I went off to college, and when I came back she moved across the country, and then closer but not close enough, and… well, to make a long story short, we could never make the long-distance thing work. The Lord knows we spent ten years trying, but He also knew neither of us were ready for His plan yet, so He kept us hopping. Finally, in ’92, we were talking on the phone. I was dating a woman that I knew looked a LOT like Melissa, and she was dating a man who was just SO MUCH like me…and it was blatantly obvious to both of us that the moment we saw each other again, we’d be right back in each other’s arms, and probably for good this time.

                Well, guess what? He knew we still couldn’t have made it last, so He gave me the dumbest words that have ever come out of my mouth: “Well, then, we’d better stay away from each other so we can give these relationships a chance to work!” And we did – and I didn’t hear her voice again for eighteen years…

God Works In Mysterious Ways,

                You’ll never understand what happened ‘til the end of your days.

                The best laid plans of mice and men

Will have you thinking that you’ll have to start all over again.

Whatever God does, it turns out right in the end,

But He works in mysterious ways…

                (God Works in mysterious ways… God Works in mysterious ways… God Works in mysterious ways…)

                So we both married the ‘wrong people’, but we had moderately decent marriages anyway, because we’re good folks who did whatever we could to marry for life. But, eventually, both spouses left us – at about the same time, in fact, in 2008. When Melissa’s sister found out, she immediately wrote and squealed that it MUST BE FATE and gave me Melissa’s new address. So I wrote a letter – way too soon, in fact, not more than a few weeks after the separation. And Melissa wrote right back – well, she SAYS she wrote back, but somehow the letter – never – reached me. So she thought I wasn’t answering, and I thought she wasn’t answering, and we both gave up. You see, God knew that we’d click again the moment we saw each other, and while we were almost the people He needed us to become, we hadn’t healed from our broken marriages yet. So another eighteen months went by, we both got our feet back under us, and in July of 2010, I got an email… Have you ever had that sensation where you’re afraid that you’re being Punked? Yeah, that’s what her email felt like.

                And, guess what? We found a way to meet in August, three weeks later I had a ring to slide on her finger, and the first time her three children met my five children was at the wedding in December. Because, finally, the Lord knew we were ready…

God Works In Mysterious Ways,

                You’ll never understand what happened ‘til the end of your days.

                The best laid plans of mice and men

Will have you thinking that you’ll have to start all over again.

Whatever God does, it turns out right in the end,

But He works in mysterious ways…

                (God Works in mysterious ways…

God Works in mysterious ways…

God Works in mysterious ways…)

But I’ve left out the best part of God’s magic! Remember, at this point I’m not truly a Christian yet, although Melissa was saved decades before. Whatever our doubts about that were, we couldn’t imagine letting each other get away this time. So we blended our families – not without the usual bumps along the way, of course, but reasonably well. However, I started to develop a RARE disease called TAM – Tubular Aggregate Myopathy – that only me and about 50 people in the entire world have. Short version, it causes indescribable, degenerative muscle pain and fatigue that had me using a cane for over a year before I got an electric wheelchair for the toughest times. The medical bills were bankrupting us, and it was taking a combination of Vicodin, gabapentin, oxycodone and morphine to keep me functioning at all, and even that didn’t work for long. At my very lowest points, I was suicidally depressed.

                The final straw – while driving to pick up a child in Reno, our car broke down in Winnemucca – repairs would take days, and the only option was for me to leave my wife there, catch a 5 a.m. Amtrak to Reno, rent a car, pick up the child, drive back and rescue my wife. We were absolutely out of money, my cell phone had died, I was out of pain meds, and by the time the long-delayed train even showed up, I was out of options. ------- It takes a lot to make a man as stubborn as I am surrender, but I finally did. -  I got down on my knees, in the handicapped section of a train car travelling between Fernley and Reno, and I had the same conversation with the Lord that some of you here have probably made at the pivotal moment in your life – Into Your hands, I commend my spirit.

                Well, guess what? Twenty minutes after the train pulled in, I was driving out of the Reno Airport parking garage with renewed vigor, on the way to pick up our son, and I looked up, nodded and smiled. Of course, I was still in overwhelming pain, and once we got to my wife she had to drive us home while I writhed in pain for five hours.

                BUT…. Guess what? The next morning, I woke up at 6 a.m. – with no pain. None. Jesus removed it, and gave me the strength to function like I need to in order to do His work, to spread His message of joy and love.

                I haven’t used the CANE – I haven’t had the PAIN – and all ‘cause of that TRAIN!

God Works In Mysterious Ways,

                You’ll never understand what happened ‘til the end of your days.

                The best laid plans of mice and men

Will have you thinking that you’ll have to start all over again.

Whatever God does, it turns out right in the end,

But He works in mysterious ways…

               

                God Works!

 Now, in 2017, I need to amend this slightly to admit that I have used the cane since then, although not often, and that the pain did eventually return. But the respite probably brought the disease back a couple of years of progress, minimum. I have my theories as to why He doesn't simply cure me - the biggest being what I would do or become if I no longer had the "leash" of the disease restricting me, forcing me to rely on Him instead of my own skills and energy. 

Doesn't matter. I'm convinced, just as much as I was then. He is real, and He can do anything He chooses to.