“I’m
telling you, Marty, it’s just plain stupid!”
“What is,
Thom?”
Thom
squinched his forty legs over towards his best friend, the better to be heard
without raising his voice.
“This
whole pupa thing of Mother Jayce’s. It makes no sense!”
Now Marty
was fully engaged. Questioning anything Mama Jayce said was tantamount to
heresy among the caterpillars. Even when it sounded as bizarre as what she had
told the youngsters this morning before they went off to a full day of
leaf-eating.
“You mean
how important it was to eat our fill, even past our comfort level, because…”
“Because
in two weeks we would be surrendering our lives as caterpillars and becoming
pupae. Pupas? Puppies? Whatever. I’m not doing it!”
“Yeah,
whatever, Thom.”
“I’m
serious, Marty! I’m not doing it. Two weeks? What kind of life is that?”
“It’s the
life of a caterpillar, that’s what.”
“I’ve
heard,” began Thom, looking around as if a bird had flown by, “that we can live
longer than two weeks if we choose to…”
Marty
looked at his friend like he was crazy as a dung beetle.
“Outta
your mind, Thom…”
“I’m
serious, Marty!”
“Thom, if
Mama Jayce says we’re becoming pupae, that’s good enough for me. I mean, how
would I know, cat? I’m only three days old! Mama’s been around for…”
“For WEEKS,
Marty! Weeks! I’ll bet she’s at LEAST three, maybe four weeks old! If she can
do it...so can I!”
At the
next morning’s pre-day meeting, Mama Jayce reiterated yesterday’s motivation.
“Remember,
youngsters, a caterpillar must eat his full and then some while he can! You
only have two weeks to grow and shed and grow and shed and grow until it’s time
for the pupa stage!”
A
commotion began towards the back when one of the caterpillars called out, “How
old are YOU?”
Mother
Jayce was caught off guard. “I - I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that, youngster.
What did you ask?”
A circle
cleared around Thom, Marty and others disassociating themselves from the
upstart.
“With all
due respect, Mother Jayce, how old are you? Are you two weeks old yet? Or are
you older than that already?”
She
smiled at the impudent fuzzball. There was always one like this.
“First of
all, child, you need to understand that you NEVER ask a woman her age, all
right? It’s very improper!” There were nervous chuckles across the terrain.
“But I’ll
tell you anyway, son. I’m twenty-two days old today. And to anticipate your
next question, the fact that I didn’t go into the pupa stage with my eggmates
is because there are always supposed to be a few of us who stay behind to…”
“To
convince the next generation to DIE on schedule?!?”
Despite
the shock of the caterpillar class, Mother Jayce remained unperturbed.
“To teach
your generation how to be the best caterpillars you can be. To prepare you for
what’s to come.”
“To
prepare us to become PUPAE!”
Smiling
beatifically, she calmly responded. “Yes. To prepare you to become pupae.”
Squinching
towards her defiant pupil, she continued full voice so that all her students could hear
her next sentence:
“Thom,
all of you, listen carefully, because this may be hard for you to understand. In
order to gain your fullest life, you must be willing to give it up. If you
can’t let go of this life, you will lose the chance at true life.”
He
thought about it for a minute.
“That’s
stupid.”
Still
smiling, she replied, “Sometimes the wisdom of the ages seems like foolishness
to the newcomer. But you’ll see, dear Thom. You’ll learn.”
Munching
on yet another leaf, number seven for the day, Marty and Thom are almost
unrecognizable from that confrontational day over a week ago. They have each
shed two exoskeletons, a third will burst away for each before the sun rises
again, and the time is approaching when Thom’s resolve will be tested.
“So,
where DID you go yesterday afternoon, Thom? You haven’t said a word.”
“No, no,
I guess I haven’t.”
Silence,
except for the sound of munching.
“You
gonna tell me, cat?”
Silence.
Munch, munch. Silence.
“All
right. Have it your…”
“Have you
ever seen the pupae, Marty?”
Startled,
Marty responded, “Ah, well, ah, no, no, I haven’t. Why?”
Quietly,
so as not to be overheard: “I have, Marty. That’s where I was. They aren’t
alive, Marty! Mama Jayce is full of bug juice. They’re just sacks where the
dead caterpillars go! Marty, they’re just fattening us up!”
“Why?”
It was
Thom’s turn to be startled.
“Why?”
“Why,
Thom? You’re so sure about this conspiracy theory with the pupae - why would
they be having us eat so much just to kill us in the pupae? There’s no logic to
that.”
“There’s
no logic to just DYING, either, Marty!” Looking both ways (not like a bird
search - that would be up, not side to side), he added surreptitiously, “When
the morning comes, Marty? I’m going into hiding. If Mama Jayce can survive an
extra seventeen days, I can too. I’m not giving up my life just on her word
that something ‘better’ is on the other side!”
Marty
looked at his fuzzy friend with eyes that reflected both awe and pity. His
audacity was exceeded only by his lack of faith.
“Do what
you gotta do, Thom. But let me ask you one thing.”
“Shoot.”
“Caterpillars have been here, in this spot, for a long time, haven’t we?”
“Yeah,
that’s what they’ve taught us. The egg patch is the same as it’s been for
generations.”
“Right.
And so generations of caterpillars have accepted the pupae as the next step,
haven’t they?”
Grudgingly,
Thom admitted as much.
“Right.
So… where ARE they?”
“What?”
“All
those old pupae. Where ARE they? If the pupa is the end of our
lifespan...shouldn’t there be lots of pupaed caterpillars hanging around? Where
are they?”
And for
once Thom didn’t have an answer.
The Day
came.
As Mother
Jayce and some other mentors were helping Marty and the myriad of other two
week old caterpillars create their sacks, Thom was nowhere to be found.
Marty
looked around wistfully, and Mother Jayce made note of it.
“You’re
looking for your friend Thom?”
Nod.
“Dear,
he’ll come to the light sooner or later. We all do.”
That
caught Marty’s attention. “We?”
Smiling
and nodding, Jayce squinched close. “We. I was a doubter, too. That’s the
reason I stayed behind all those days ago. Half a lifetime for me. I didn’t
know what was on the other side of these sacks.”
“Mama?”
Marty’s bristles brushed against hers. “What IS on the other side?”
She
looked at him with moisture in her eyes.
“Something
wonderful, dear. You’ll see soon enough.”
Thom
watched the tearful scene from a distance, too far away to ascertain what was
being said. It didn’t matter. Marty was going to be dead by the end of the day.
They all were. And yet, there they were building their own coffins, oblivious
to the lies that were being told to them.
“In order to gain your fullest life, you must be willing to
lose your life.” Bah! “Let go of this life to give yourself
the chance for your true life to begin!” Hah! Ridiculous! What kind
of nonsense was that, anyway? That sounds like this life isn’t important! But
it’s the only life we HAVE! How can it not be worth hanging on to with every
fiber of your being?
He went
on his way, munching on more leaves to try and fill the gap in his heart.
One day,
twenty-two day old Thom was off on his own, having spurned the remainder of the
caterpillar community and its lies. Suddenly, his preservation instincts kicked
in, as something fluttered down towards him from above.
“Aah! A
bird! A bird! Don’t eat me!”
“Thom,
stop worrying! I’m not a bird!”
The
butterfly hovered there, just above him. He’d never seen one from this close
before; it was beautiful. The colors were so spectacular! In fact, the
colors looked - familiar.
“Thom, do
you recognize me?”
Why should it know my name?
“Ahhh….
I’ll admit, you look - vaguely familiar…”
The
butterfly landed on the ground next to Thom.
“It’s me,
Thom. Marty! Don't you recognize me?”
And then
there was a wave of emotion which overwhelmed Thom: amazement, awe, happiness,
astonishment...and confusion.
“Marty,
how can this be? How could you have transformed so completely into - well, an
entirely different species? It’s impossible!”
The
butterfly smiled, an odd expression on an insect which doesn’t ever frown, per
se. “No, it’s what Mama Jayce told me on the day I made my pupa. We were going
to become something wonderful … and she was right.
“That’s
what pupae are, Thom! They’re the world’s greatest changing rooms!
Inside those magical sacks, we are transformed into these glorious bodies. And
you can do this, too, Thom!”
“What?”
“You can
still become a butterfly if you want. Just do what Mama Jayce did - hang out
with a batch of newbie caterpillars, teach them the ropes, and then when the
time comes, make your pupae alongside theirs and wait!”
“But…
But… but I don’t know HOW to turn into a butterfly! Did I miss the instructions
somewhere along the line? How did you do it, Marty?”
“Thom, all
you have to do is believe and obey. Understand that it’s a mystery that we
can’t explain, but when you go into that pupa sack, somehow your body knows
what to do. I mean, it knew how to shed those things exoskeletons, right? Do you
know how to do it?”
“Ah,
well, Ah, no. No, I don’t.”
“And
that’s okay! Your body will do it for you. Trust the highest forces. Thom, stop
doubting and just believe for once in your analytical life, cat! Just believe!”
With
that, the new butterfly goes soaring into the world, doing twirls and flips and
just enjoying life to its fullest in a way that an earth bound caterpillar
simply can’t. Thom watched with a bit of envy, and her words came to him:
“In order to gain your fullest life, you
must be willing to give it up. If you can’t let go of this life, you will lose
the chance at true life.”
I wasn’t willing to give up being a caterpillar in order to become
a butterfly. I didn’t realize how much more there was in store for me if I only
believed. I didn’t realize how my only roadblocks were inside of me.
Thom
stopped doubting that very minute, although the change of heart wasn’t enough
by itself. It requires follow-through as well. He began squinching down towards
the center of the plain, where he knew the younger caterpillars would be.
Maybe his
wisdom could be of use to them.
