I've been praying this morning, asking God for answers. I've been in a tremendous amount of pain over the last week in particular, and not only having to take a ton of medication and too many naps to count, but I also have not gotten much done during that time, either - as my readers well know! To make me suffer through this pain seems counterproductive to my way of thinking... but His Thoughts are not my thoughts, as you well know.
So, as I was showering and praying about it just now, thanking Him for the pain, because if He allowed me to have it there must be a positive reason for my having it (Romans 8:28, right?), my own voice answered the prayer. I'm getting stronger because of it. There are situations that I am steering to (and away from) because of this condition. Nobody ever built character in still water.
Then, since I no longer worry that I'm going through a psychosis when I have these internal debates, I argued that taking lots of medicine didn't strike me as being particularly "courageous" or "character building". To which my own voice immediately replied, Aren't you the one who absolutely hates to take medicine, Gordon? (Yes. It's why my doctor worries so little about addiction issues with me. If I develop an addiction, it will be obvious.) There is courage in doing what you are averse to doing.
Whereupon "He" brought up (because I no longer had any pretense that it was me coming up with any of these answers) that I'd just been debating over the last week whether I would be strong enough to take my children on a little two or three day holiday late next month or not. This week would therefore be evidence either for or against my ability to do so.
"Have you ever heard the Voice of God?"
Yes. And he sounds quite a bit like me.
No comments:
Post a Comment